It's my party and I'll cry if I want to...And so what if I do? It's my birthday! (in 2 weeks)

Anyone who knows me will tell you...I love my birthday.  I take it to the extreme.  It's not unusual for me to celebrate for the entire month.  By May 1st no one wants to hear about me having another birthday ever again.  That's just how I roll.  As far as I'm concerned, April 6th should be a national holiday.

(Last year's party.  One of many.)

BUT even birthday lovers get anxiety...

This year I'm having mixed feelings about getting older.  Hey, there's got to be that one age when you think:

"Wait.  Stop this ride!  Is this where I'm supposed to be?  Is this what I'm supposed to be doing?!  Where's the instruction manual for this life thing?!"

I won't say that I'm getting OLD.  I'm not OLD.  I just feel that I'm not YOUNG anymore.  I'm not sure what makes me more anxious.  Not being "young" or not quite being "old".  (Can you hear it?  It's Britney Spears playing the background "NOT A GIRL!  NOT YET A WOMAN!"...okay, I'll stop now.)

I guess this quandary is a little hard to put into words.  All I know is that it's a super random feeling. 

WHO THE HELL WORRIES ABOUT TURNING 26?

I do. 

And reguardless, I'm still going to party all month long.  I'm still going to wear a tiara.  I might spend a little time contemplating what it means to be 26.

And I'll cry if I want to.